I saw this demonstration when at a training many, many years ago. It is still very vivid in my memory. A great visual reminder. A concept that should be obvious and ingrained, but doesn’t seem to be.
[More on my thoughts about analogies in some later post…]
First things first. If they’re the most important, prioritize them. Schedule them. Make sure they happen. Do not let them be at the mercy of the small, the urgent but unimportant, and certainly not the trivial.
“What if you were to shift to a paradigm of deciding, first of all, what your whole life is about so that you have a philosophical basis on which to make all of the big decisions about what are the big rocks, the middle-sized, the small rocks, and so forth. Put the big rocks in very first, the most important things, then the other ones, accordingly.”
Resources and Links
Almost two decades ago, my baby sister came home from college and wanted to start a discussion about how each member of the family gave and received love. She said that she’d learned that there were five categories of ways we express love:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Giving/Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
It struck a chord. And, apparently has for many people, because it is the basis for Gary Chapman‘s best-seller The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. This I learned from Jenny Anderson‘s article on Quartz, “The simple communication theory that explains most relationship conflicts.”
Since that visit with my sister, I have often used this lens on my relationships when I feel unloved or misunderstood. Often, it is a case of mismatched styles. Perhaps, I’m feeling hurt because someone declined my invitation or missed the celebration of a special occasion (I’m a Quality Time person), but maybe I shouldn’t be because they did send that touching photo book commemorating the occasion (they are an Acts of Service and/or Giving Gifts person).
Do you know what you are? Want to confirm? Or find out? Try the profile index at the 5 Love Languages website. Don’t want to give away your info, including your email address? There are links to downloadable PDF versions of the index (this is the version for someone in a relationship) at the bottom of the screen where it asks for your info.
Resources and Links